As we are growing up, 'loving myself' may be difficult if we are given the message that it makes us out to be selfish, grandiose or insensitive towards others.
With all the things we do 'wrong' as children, it's easy to grow to dislike ourselves and we can carry this with us well into adulthood. We may fear self love because we confuse it with being full of oneself - where meeting my needs disregards the impact it has on others around me.
Self love does not make me a narcissist. Narcissists believe they are better than others and do not take responsibility for their mistakes or their flaws. A narcissist thrives on making others feel small.
Self love means that we can look upon ourselves with the same kindness, acceptance and love that comes easy toward others. Practising self compassion opens us up to self love. It's about honouring who we are, validating our experiences too, accepting our flaws and still showing up for ourselves.
It unlocks a peaceful energy from within and we stand a better chance of attracting people who love and respect us too. It disarms shame and jealousy. It also opens a space for our children to feel safe enough to talk about themselves without fear of being shamed or judged, while learning to establish the necessary boundaries.
As we practice self-love, we learn not to be so hard on ourselves and we mirror this forgiving energy to those around us. Children need to sense it to integrate it.
Here are some self love rules:
1) Forgive yourself when you mess up. You can try again.
2) Value your feelings.
3) Set realistic expectations.
4) Meet your needs too.
5) Believe in yourself - and in your potential.
6) Be kind to yourself - find positive words to tell yourself.
7) Spend time around people who support you.
8) Learn how to say 'No' to what is not right for you.
9) Accept your imperfections.
10) Acknowledge your strengths.
Today is a great day to start. Together we can create a ripple of love.